From Won’t Power to Will Power

Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Would you describe yourself that way? If so, you may be in luck when it comes to making positive changes.

Some people find themselves in trouble a lot because of a personality characteristic that they call stubbornness. You have heard of “will power.” Well, stubbornness is a kind of “won’t power.” It causes you to dig in and refuse to budge, and sometimes it drives other people crazy. And sometimes, it keeps you from growing closer to the person you want to be.

But, as Roger and McWilliams pointed out in their book series, Life 101, “Just as fear is also excitement, stubbornness is also determination. It’s simply a matter of shifting the focus from ‘won’t power’ back to ‘will power.’ Rather than, ‘I won’t get fat,’ change it to ‘I will keep a healthy, slim body.’ Rather than, ‘I won’t be around people who don’t support my efforts,’ say ‘I will seek out people who help me do what I want to do in life.’

“It’s a matter of finding the positive opposite and focusing on that, rather than aligning yourself with a negative. Stubbornness, if you use it to advantage, will stand you in good stead when it comes to achieving your goals and living out your values.”

Imagine yourself stubbornly refusing to accept anything but the best in life. Imagine yourself stubbornly holding on to your program of self-improvement and personal growth no matter what. It’s locking on to what you want, and not locking on to what you don’t want. If you shift your energy from stubbornness to determination, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor.

You will also become a positive role model for those around you. So prepare yourself for an up-tic in your influence, because your positive stubbornness just may turn you into a sought-after mentor.