When you count your true personal successes, you build self-confidence and your own sense of efficacy – your appraisal of your ability to cause things to happen for you and the world around you. So, your life shouldn’t be a measure of someone else’s success. In reality, it’s a measure of your own.
Most people want to succeed. The question is, whose version of “success” is the best choice? In addition, how do you measure your success? How do you know when you have accomplished something that counts, for you?
Success on other people’s terms may only mean frustration for you, and doing the so-called “right thing” just because you have been told it’s the right thing won’t help, either. If we measure our success by goals that others think worthwhile instead of by our own personal standards, we will wind up being frustrated and unfulfilled.
Personal growth and fulfillment must start with the centered self, and depend on clear personal values and self-knowledge if they are to be sustained. Measuring our success by other people’s values prevents us from recognizing many of our own significant accomplishments. We wind up denying our own unique talents and abilities in favor of someone else’s.
You know, you are not on earth to measure up to someone else’s expectations, but you are here to develop your potential – in the direction and degree that you choose. It is your responsibility, though, to equip yourself to make wise choices – choices that will help you develop and feel good about yourself and your contributions.
Remember, there is nothing wrong or unproductive in asking others for advice or information. In fact, quite the opposite. A different perspective is vital to seeing the whole picture. However, in the final analysis, the decision must be yours.