When we go about making a change in ourselves, whether it’s physical, in our thinking, or in our attitudes, and first wall of resistance we run up against is the idea of who we are, that we’ve been holding for a very long time. That’s only natural, and it will be a challenge until we can make the new picture of ourselves stronger than the old.
Can you guess what the second wall of resistance is? Sometimes, when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members and others who are close to us will do everything they can to try and get us to change back. Did you ever wonder why that might be?
Well, for one thing, when people get used to their lives being a certain way, any change – even when it’s an improvement – can be threatening. Sometimes, people who are negative have a very hard time tolerating people who are positive. It’s the old “misery loves company” syndrome, and they see they are about to lose their company.
If you can convince your family to join you in your quest for personal growth, you will all have an easier time of it. You can support each other through the tough times and give each other encouragement and approval as you begin to see results.
If you have no choice but to go it alone, it can help to let the others in on it. Tell them what you’re trying to do and tell them, too, how the results will benefit them as well. Paint them a vivid picture of what the end-result will look like and ask for their help. If you don’t get it, have patience. They may need to see for themselves that you really mean it and that you intend to stay close to them even though you’re changing.
Occasionally, people in our immediate families may force us to make the painful choice between developing ourselves as human beings and continuing our relationship with them. It is important that you know that you have the right to choose growth without guilt.