Parenthood Unfiltered: A Workshop to Address Our Parenting Fears

I'm going to go ahead and get us up and running so that we can have a jam packed, remaining 56 minutes from this point forward. So, welcome everybody again to another session of Beyond Limitss. We do this on the first Friday of every month. And if you have not joined us in the past for one of these sessions, I want to just give you a, a brief overview of what we cover here during these. So this is an opportunity for us to gather leaders, executives, professionals in a setting like this to share some of the insights that we have from The Pacific Institute and the core curriculum that we champion here.

We want to get together on the first Friday of every month, and we try to relate the topics that we teach and preach to the things that are going on in the world today. As you can tell from the title, we're shifting a little bit more away from the, uh, professional side of our business into the personal side, as we're going to be doing a workshop today that's centered around parenthood and what we do as mothers and fathers. This is a great opportunity to network. That's why we like to see those cameras on. So, yet another request slash slightly begging for those cameras to come on so that we can see who is here.

And then it's an opportunity for us to learn a little bit more about what we do here, and a way for us to engage with some of you who are our clients already, some who may become clients, and some who have never worked with us before. If you're in that latter category and you've never heard of The Pacific Institute, I'll just briefly describe who we are. As a consultancies, we do things a little bit differently. Most change organizations that are similar to ours, they're going to give you a model and tell you how to follow it, and they try to elevate some egos. They strive to change group actions.

We're more interested in transforming the individual beliefs. And what we mean by that is the core of how we view and how we react to our surroundings. So how do we react and react per, uh, appropriately for our environment? And we believe that that radiates from one to one to one to the world. So it's not just shelling into a, uh, shouting into a microphone, but we really believe that if we can connect and touch the person next to us, then maybe they can help the person next to them.

So, our founder had a quote that said, all meaningful and lasting change, it starts on the inside and it works its way out. And what we believe is, if you can work on those things for yourself and make that meaningful and lasting change, you can move from me to we. And that's when we can start transforming not just ourselves, but positively impacting those around us. And that's really going to be the focus of what we talk about today, is what are the things that we can do for ourselves positively that are then going to impact the individuals that are meaningful to us in our lives? Maybe that's your small team, but I bet for the purposes of today, that's going to be your family.

But as an organization, we take that one step further because when we can impact that small team or that small family, then we know that we can move that transformation towards the collective goals of the entire organization. So without further ado, I am going to stop talking. You've heard plenty of me already. I'm going to turn this over to Jeff Hittner, who is an executive coach. He is one of our consultants here at The Pacific Institute.

I'm not going to steal any of his thunder. I'll let him announce himself and introduce himself. But I'm honored to be participating in this session today, and I'm really looking forward to what Jeff has to say. So without further ado, Jeff Hittner, the floor is yours. Thank you.

Hi, everybody. Um, I want to introduce myself and I like to do it with some imagery. So gimme one second. Let me set, set this up. So, um, first and foremost, uh, this isn't just about tackling our parent parenthood fears, but overcoming our negative self-talk related to it.

Um, and so let me start by telling you all a little bit about me. So obviously I am a parent, I am a proud dad. Um, but my story into fatherhood, um, I is, uh, a really challenging one. I found out about a dozen years ago, uh, that I couldn't be a biological dad. Um, and I needed to change, um, something that was so foundational to what I grew up with, which was that this belief that fatherhood was about blood.

Um, fast forward today, I obviously you see in this picture, have two beautiful, amazing boys. But the reason I do the work I do as a transformational coach, as a leadership expert,

and now with my work around ambitious dads is because of this journey and, and this realization that, um, if I can change my perspective about something as fundamental as fatherhood, then we all can change our mindset about things. And so that really drives my work and my commitment in all I do. And, and about, um, a year and a half ago, I started noticing an interesting trend. Many of the CEOs that I work was coaching, and I coach women and men, but many of the men I was coaching I noticed had no problems talking about their five year goals for, for work and for career. But when it came to talking about their, their family and their children, they had, they, they, they, they were struggling.

And I was really curious about this. And so I decided to do, um, a little investigating. And I have now interviewed over a hundred, what I call ambitious dads, um, to really try to understand what's changed in the world around fatherhood and what this challenge is because as many of you, um, might be experiencing, uh, fatherhood isn't the same that, that our fathers had with us. Like the relationship, the experience, um, many, uh, if not the majority of dads today want to share equally in the parenting, they want to be co-parenting. They don't really have a lot of role models for that in their lives.

Um, and they don't have a lot of support mechanisms to figure that out. And it creates a lot of gaps. Um, and so this is something that I began by investigating, by interviewing, uh, well over a hundred dads. And now I run workshops and programs on this topic. Um, and so that's why you see a couple of the, the, the cartoon that you see here.

Um, and the other photo here is me as a gymnast. I was a gymnast for 15 years, as embarrassing as that photo is, um, which also helped kind of direct who I am in this world. And then finally, that map. So my youngest son, uh, was born during the worst of the lockdown in 2020 in New York City, which was also a bit difficult at that time as you all, uh, remember from wherever you were. And so my wife and I at the time, uh, decided to not move to the suburbs of New York, but to move to Valencia, Spain.

And, um, the reason I'm still here with my boys is that they are thriving, um, and we are loving it. So, um, that is a bit about me and why I do the work we do. Um, and here's what we're going to do today. So today we just, we already started with our happy place, which was, uh, asking you all to think about something in the last week in engagement with your child, that that really brings some feelings of gratitude. But now what I want us to focus on are these six giant fears.

Um, now I have, as I said, interviewed all these, these dads. And so I've truly identified what they feel is their top fears, the work with mothers that you'll see in this. I have only done, uh, through secondary research. So I am, um, more than open to debate and discussion and all that. Um, so maybe it's not your top fear as it is for, for a dad, but, um, certainly you'll be able to relate to all of them.

Um, so we're going to walk through these six fears. We're going to spend some time on each of them, and then we're going to go into breakout rooms and have some conversations about it. So, um, that's the journey we're going to go on today. Um, and of course, as this connects with The Pacific Institute, I really want us to recognize this fact, right? Like the loudest voice in the room is probably not our children yelling or having a meltdown or disappointing us, or it's, it's us disappointing ourselves, right?

Having this inner voice that is, um, creating a sense of guilt, a sense of fear, a sense of inadequacy. Um, and we need to shift that into compassion and courage and connection. And, um, my hope is that's what we are going to do together as we walk through each of these fears, uh, in true Pacific Institute style. So be thinking about what's going on in your head, what are these negative voices in your head when you hear all of these fears? And then let's think about some ways we want to transform them, um, into some positive self-talk.

Sound good? Alright, cool. So here is the first one, and I have yet to find someone who doesn't wholeheartedly agree.

Their biggest fear or challenge is this impossible balancing act, right? We are like always struggling to balance a million priorities. Um, and that list just keeps getting longer and longer. Um, and the emotions that bubble up daily, while we try to manage these priorities, it's their guilt, it's stress, it's fear, it's fatigue, of course, it's love. We feel all of them, right?

Um, and you know, I think this is the number one fear in part because we're often handed tools, um, around how to manage these. But these tools are, are really scripted from like a generation ago, right? They, they, they are tools in the form of words. Like, if you're a man, I must provide and protect, uh, if I'm a woman, I've just gotta hold it together. I can't let anyone down, right?

These are scripts, these are, this is negative self-talk, and it doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is overwhelming, right? This impossible balancing act. Um, and you'll see here on the screen, uh, some very simple examples of probably what goes through your head as you relate to this in terms of some of the negative self-talk and how you can flip it on your head, right? Um, and, you know, in order to balance a lot of these competing priorities, um, we need to acknowledge and address the emotional strain in the first place.

But we also need to challenge this false narrative, um, and understand that, you know, not all work events are critical, uh, to career growth. And, and sometimes being with family is more important, or if you're coming from the other side of the spectrum, sometimes being, um, at work is more important, right? Um, but this is the struggle that we're all going through. So I'm curious, I'd love for people to put into the chat right now. Um, what glass balls in your life feel the most fragile?

Um, and, and yeah, let's just start with that one. So when you're thinking about all the things you're juggling, what feels the most fragile for you? Right? Is it like your success at work? Is it your connection with your child?

Is it your relationship with your spouse? Like, what is it? Put it into the chat. I health. That's a great one.

Yep. Self-care, health relationship, you know, and in a lot of these, we're going to see as we're going through, um, these other fears and challenges. They're, they're all overlapping. And again, there is so much self-talk that is connected with every single one of these. Thank you all for sharing these, just reading through it.

Yes. Sandwich generation. Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing that. Thomas, I know Richard can share in that as well.

Quality time. These are all, these are all fantastic. So this is by all inputs that I have received. The, the number one challenge that, that we face, um, or fear that we have. Like, I can't, I just can't balance this all, and I just want us to pause again and be aware of what is the voice saying to us, and how can we flip that voice, right?

Um, you know, when I care for myself, I care, I care better for them, right? We have to remember those sorts of things. My presence matters more than my perfection, right? We have to remember these sorts of things, right? So this is the impossible balancing act.

All right, let's move on. This is the second one. Am I worthy of the role? So I have a really interesting data point for all of you, and it's that 91% of dads say

that fatherhood is central to their identity, but only 39% of dads believe they're doing a good job of it. Imagine what that means about around their confidence. Now, for women, it's markedly higher in comparison to men, but it's still not great for women. It's about 56% believe they're doing a good job, right? So we have this huge gap, and this gap creates a huge amount of dissonance, right?

And, um, when we look at it from the standpoint of, of mother or father, there's some distinctions, right? Like the dad is thinking, um, you know, I I, I'm not getting any feedback because dads aren't talking to other dads very much. I don't have any role models. Um, I don't really have community support. And so like, I, I really don't think I'm doing a good job.

I, I don't know if I'm doing a jo good job. How could I know? Right? For moms, it's often a bit different. It's about identity overload, right?

Like all of a sudden, like being a mom is the overwhelming identity that you, that you have, right? Um, and all of a sudden you're not feeling like yourself anymore, right? You're, you, you, you know, you're feeling overwhelmed in this identity of motherhood, right? Um, but you'll see below, right? This, this comment that I've put in here, right?

Um, we don't just parent our kids. We parent from the story we believe about ourselves, right? Um, and the challenge here is if both of us as mothers and fathers are so unsure about our goodness in this role, for sure, we have a lot of work to do when it comes to our self-talk about it, right? So, um, I I'm very curious, why don't we put into the chat here, like, what if this resonates with you? And I imagine it does in some capacity.

What is the negative self-talk you're hearing, uh, between your ears right now, um, in terms of your worth as a mother or as a father? Put it into the chat. Thank you, Jim. Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah, that fine line, right? Heather? Like, listen to these voices, everybody listen to them in terms of reading what everyone's saying. These are pretty powerful voices. These are pretty negative voices.

And as you all have engaged in one way or another with The Pacific Institute Institute, you know, the power of these negative voices, right? Um, we need to spend some time shifting our voice around this. Um, and oh, by the way, we have some cool processes to do that, and I'll hint at it as we go through, um, and we'll talk about it at the end. All right? So again, we're in this situation both as men and women, where, um, no matter what we're doing, no one is putting in here.

I don't have a negative voice around this topic. We are all sitting with it. Um, and so just reading, yeah. I mean, even, uh, I, I love Greg's. I did too much, right?

Like, we're, no matter what we're, it's either I did too little, I did too much. I mean, we're all over the place. Let's move on to the next one. Also, my favorite, because this one connects deeply with me. Emotional meltdowns.

All right? So no one prepared me when I became a dad to be able to handle a 30 minute meltdown by my son. When I started, I thought getting through two minutes was a success. Now, on a good day, I'm still probably at 20, 25 minutes, but I don't know if I make it to 30. And oh my God, do I feel like I failed when I, um,

lose my cool when my son is losing his? And my challenge is no one ever prepared me for this, particularly as a boy. Like, I wasn't, I wasn't shown how to be patient, how to manage something like this. And I see it every day in the sense that if I don't manage my emotions and my cool, it gets mirrored by my boys, by my children, right? My responses become their responses.

And that has fueled for me over the last four or five years, an intense amount of work to try to really do a better job regulating my emotions. Um, and one of the coolest parts about it, you know, I can't say by any means, uh, I'm perfect. I'm definitely doing better. But one area where I think I'm fantastic is what I call fail and repair. So I think I'm so good at, um, telling my kids that I screw up, that I see them mirroring it incredibly well.

So my kids are fantastic at apologizing, not when they're in the middle of their tantrum or not when they're in the middle of, you know, kicking or punching each other, but afterwards, right? And that is the aspect of self-talk that is really important, that we do have a chance to follow through, right? We have a chance to repair after the fact. Um, I think on the, that was, that's my story and the story of, to be honest, many, many men on the, on the mother's side, I think, um, it comes around more in the standpoint of guilt around snapping and yelling or melting down, um, or not really having the, the space to recover because, you know, you're fully engaged with your child all the time. Um, so it shows up in, in slightly different ways, right?

Um, so I want to ask everyone, because this is a great place to learn. Can you put into the chat during those moments when you feel emotionally dysregulated, when your child is out of control and you are out of control, how do you create space to pause and reflect? How do you do it, if at all? How do you do it? What do you do?

Put it into the chat. Breathing. Absolutely. Ten second rule. Yeah, no phone.

I'll tell you what I do. I sometimes, if I'm lucky enough that it's happening when my, when my partner or when the, the, the mom of my children, uh, is there, I say, I'm sorry. I need to, I need to tap out. I need to walk away. Because honestly, walking away is better than my, what my response is going to be.

Uh, great. Ben, you kind of jumped into it, right? Ha, perfect timing. What I, what I like about what people are writing, oh, uh, I'm just reading Richards with adult. Yeah.

What I, what I like, what people are writing is, I don't think anyone honestly speaks this out loud enough. Like, yeah, I, I'm not going to bes. We always think we have to be on top of the situation. And sometimes the best way to be on top of the situation is to leave it, right? Like, I think we probably do a better job of that at work than we do at home.

'cause we're not as emotionally connected to it as at work, maybe. But this is really important for us all to notice. And I want you all to see that we're all saying that in, in, in more or less the same way. It's okay to step back and then look at what's on the slide for what the positive self-talk is. I'm human, right?

I can repair her afterwards, right? Um, I can pause, right? And it does repair builds trust. My, my oldest son who's eight did a sleepover. He, we've had a few sleepovers here.

So we're, we're pretty good about managing the kids, getting a lot of sleep. But he had his first sleepover away from the house last weekend, and I saw him the next morning, and he obviously didn't sleep at all. He was in meltdown mode from minute one. And, uh, you know, I had to debate, do I, do I hold the boundary and let him melt down since he's exhausted? And I decided, yes, I absolutely will.

And he melted down. But you know what he did? Five minutes afterwards, he came over and he gave me the biggest hug, right? And that comes from consistently me screwing up,

but consistently me repairing, right? So it works. It works. These are great. This, this, this.

You're, uh, Rosa, I'm guessing your older teenage kids are used to walking away from you when they're p****d off. So I'm sure it could work. And then the question is, what's the best way to find, um, a moment of connection to apply the idea of repair? Maybe with them it's creating a, um, uh, an apology video and sending it as like, uh, a text message, right? Like, we have to get inside their heads.

There's all sorts of interesting ways we can do this. All right, let me move on to the next one. Unseen or under pressure, under, you know, um, this is very interesting because it is very distinct. Um, but theme is connected, right? Between fathers and mothers.

This is very distinct. I think dads can sometimes feel like ghosts in the parenting world, um, and moms can often feel like they are on a stage and they are being critiqued at every single turn, right? Um, but either way, the voice that matters most is the one inside our heads when we're going through this. We, so, um, you know, I struggled for a long time with, with the, the mom of my, my two boys around being able to contribute to the extent I wanted to when the kids were young, when they were babies. And the reason that was a challenge was cultural.

It was, uh, family reasons. Um, and, you know, this idea that the, that that she brought to the table, that she, as the mom was supposed to be doing all of the work, right? When, when our child was a baby, it was really hard to, uh, address something like that, right? So, um, feeling unseen can be a big thing for, uh, dads and feeling on a, on a pedestal for moms. So Justin, the, my son has now invited himself over, uh, Grammy.

I'm running a, a workshop. Do you? Okay. Can you ask your brother to get you some? Thank you, sweetie.

Um, I also am practicing not apologizing for that as well, right? This is also part of life. So, um, I want to ask everyone, where in your parenting life do you feel invisible? Yes. Where in your parenting life do you feel invisible or misunderstood?

Right? Where in your parenting life do you feel invisible or misunderstood? Can you put that into the chat? Hmm. Richard, that's deep.

Hmm. Yeah. Ronnette, of course. Hmm, Thomas, I appreciate that what you're saying too. I, I play that role sometimes.

As with the finances, Heather, there's a lot to unpack in what you write because that's also a mindset shift of what our role is as a guide. It's very, it's it, there's a lot of grief that we have to go through as we let them go.

These are wonderful. I really appreciate everyone sharing to this level. Uh, let me ask another question. The flip side of this, where do you feel very scrutinized or judged when it comes to being a mother or a father? Where do you feel scrutinized or judged?

Hmm, around discipline. That's interesting. Hmm. Caitlin, ah, that's the opposite. That's very interesting.

And I think I have the same dynamic in my family. I get judged as being too strict. My wife would say she gets judged at, at not being strict enough. These are great. As you write these down, I also want you to reflect what is a way that I could reframe this, right?

Look at some of these examples of the positive self-talk that we have here in the slide. And again, we're going to spend some more time talking through all these in person in a little bit. Henry, that's awesome. I want to come join your family. These are great.

Thank you all for sharing, right? Hmm. Thank you, Richard. All right. Well, there's two more big areas that I want to focus on in terms of our fears and challenges, right?

Am I keeping my child safe and am I preparing them for life, right? Generally speaking, dads are externally focused. This is a, a generalization, right? Like, how do I prepare my child for the ever-changing world? And moms are more internally focused, I need to keep them safe.

I need to help anticipate and avoid all danger around them, right? This idea of protection versus preparation is one of the richest and most emotionally complex tensions that we have as parents. It touches on trust, it touches on control, it touches on resiliency and legacy. It's all wrapped together around love too, right? Um, and the fear is where love gets loud, right?

It shows up as helicopter parenting or harsh discipline out of anxiety, right? Or trying to control situations so kids don't fail or get hurt or staying silent instead of having the tough conversation. There's a lot here to unpack when we talk about protection versus preparation. Um, and I think that, um, I, I think in some respects, uh, both moms and dads have seen both do see both sides of this, right? So, um, I want to ask you all the same question that's right here on, on the screen, right?

What's the hardest part for you about letting your child or children struggle? What is the hardest part about it? Please put that into the chat. Mm, yep. Mm.

Richard said it in a very interesting way, right? It's enormous, selfish, need to protect them, you know, um, there's a, a, a, a, a parenting guru that I love named Dr. Becky. Maybe some of you know her. Um, she's pretty famous on social mediand, uh, and she's, uh, a child psychologist and has several books.

And she talks about how our job as parents is not

to make our children happy. Our job is to prepare them for adulthood, um, to help them grow, to help them learn, to help them be resilient, right? But that's the problem. When I ask a question like this, it's, it, the, the challenge is, it's like short term versus long term, right? I think we all know that, but we still have to manage in the short term these feelings that you are writing, uh, that you're showing in writing right now into the chat, right?

Thank you all for sharing at such deep levels. These are great. All right, in the interest of time, I want to move on to our last one. All right? Um, I will get it in in two minutes.

Okay? Just wait two minutes. Um, this last one, uh, I know we're all going to relate to. So first I want to throw out here, co-parenting. The definition of co-parenting is not, uh, exclusive for divorced parents.

It is, particularly today when, um, so many men want to play an equal role in the, in raising of the kids. It is how do we share in the raising of our children together, whether we are separated or together. This is, so, as you see the exclusive so hard, so, so hard, right? Um, and the reason it is hard comes from so many different perspectives. And I think I touched on it earlier and I saw it in your chats as well.

But we don't spend enough time recognizing in the United States, and I think with the exception of me at this moment, all of us on this call are in the United States. In the United States right now. Um, over 50% of couples that are having children come from different cultural backgrounds. Different cultural backgrounds mean completely different perspectives for how to raise children, right? So we have conflicting parenting philosophies, and then we all have jobs, and then we're managing households that are much more complex than they were a generation ago, right?

And no one has given us any training on how to do this on an emotionally charged topic that we would give our life for, which is our children, right? It is super complex. And so I've put, I've done a bunch of research on this, and here are just some questions on the right that if you sit down with your partner and ask these questions, ideally before you have kids, but even now with your kids, you'll begin to surface some of these hidden tensions because they are actually just, um, a misalignment that you haven't had a conversation about in so many ways, right? So this is a tough, tough topic. Um, and, you know, I'm, I'm curious.

So when we think about this topic, like for instance, these first two questions, right? What aspect of our upbringing do we wish that we, that we had had better, uh, or different like that, that is a deep trigger or trauma that we are going to bring into our parenting? Our partner may not know that when I was a kid, I was the worst eater. Like, all I did was eat cupcakes and frosted flakes. I was an elite gymnast, and I would have two bowls of frosted flakes before I went to practice.

Like, I can't even imagine how much better I would've been if I understood proper health now, right? So now, like I've literally moved to Spain, I take my children to the market, they eat fresh food. Like my son is over here asking for cured meats. Um, and it's super important to me. My, my, the, the mom of my boys, she on the other hand only had health food when she was a kid.

And so her sister used to sneak her little treats all the time. 'cause her sister was eight years older. And for her, that's love. That's showing love. So can you imagine how we butt heads on this topic?

And it's not because one is right or one is wrong, it's because we're coming at it from completely different life histories, right? And so this is why co-parenting is so effing hard, right? It is because we haven't brought these topics up. So in addition to bringing them up,

we can then really change the nature of our talk around them, because I am sure as this gets worse and worse from a relational standpoint with our partners, we begin to have some real negative self-talk, right? Like, my co-parent doesn't like think of me romantically anymore, right? Um, but it all can change as we start to really connect at a deeper level. So I want to stop sharing here for a second. Um, and what I want to do is bring us into some breakout rooms.

And I've got a technique that we're going to do for this. So hold on one second. Let me just make this work, right? So what I like to do, you know, you heard me talk about one of the big gaps is that, um, too many people don't have these conversations, particularly, particularly men. But I want these rooms to be, um, mixed.

And so we're going to go into breakout rooms and um, I am putting into the group chat a Google doc. I want you to open that Google Doc and use that, um, to sort of guide your conversation in the chat. Okay? And I think we'll do a little bit less. So we have a little bit time at the end.

We're going to do 12 minutes in the breakout rooms. So, um, let me just set 'em up. I'll put maybe do maybe five people, uh, yeah, the six people in a breakout room, okay? Uh, do 12 minutes. So just follow this script.

I've included, as you'll see at the bottom, a summary of the topics we just talked about and do some sharing on this. And then we'll come back and we'll close out, okay? Are there any questions before we do that? All right, then let's do it. See you all in a few.

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back. So how was that? This, um, we don't have a lot of time, so, but I would love for someone to maybe quickly share what that experience was like within their group. Does someone want to share?

I'll share. Um, I think our group provided a lot of insight. Um, some, the great, one of the great perspectives was we had a, um, individual that was not a parent. And to be able to like still like root that individual on because they do have like, um, affect how parenthood hood works and whether it is aunt or uncle like you, you still matter and how they share. And I know you could probably share yourself, sorry, but your, your, your, uh, story was important to me 'cause I, I miss being an aunt, but, um mm-hmm.

How, how they share was not from a place of hurt and they still have fulfillment. And so I love that. And then just gleaming more from everyone else's stories was very helpful. So thank you for the opportunity to have that time. Awesome.

Thank you for sharing that. Well, um, before you all go, I do want to say one thing. Um, we have a pretty cool program that we're going to launch in May. Um, so it's for everyone, hold on, let me open this. Um, it's called voices.

We inherit voices we change. So it's, it's, um, our, our methodology at, um, The Pacific Institute applied to being a mother or a dad, right? So you're going to see, as you see in this little graph, like this is, these are the gaps, right? Um, we need help shifting our self-talk. We're going to teach people how to do that around parenthood.

Um, we need help around understanding how to manage being emotionally overwhelmed. We're going to create the space for you all to do that, right? Um, all of these things are going to take place over the course of, uh, four sessions in May. And we would love for you to join. Um, and here is a little bit more detail about it.

So if you register right now, you'll get a huge discount. Um, and over the course of the next week, we'll uh, give you a lot more detail about it. But by registering there, you'll see some more of the details. But, um, I will be leading it in partnership with Kevin. Um, both of us by the way, our dads of choice of intention, um, and we really bring, uh, that intention to this sort of work.

So I would love to see you for a more kind of profound deep dive on this topic. Um, so just let us know. Um, and if you have any questions, um, please, please, please follow up. I know Kevin will. Kevin, what else?

What am I missing? Absolutely nothing. You did an excellent job finishing on time. You came in right at the wire. This is, this is Great.

Uh, I will be sending out an email that has this information as well. So if anybody has any trouble scanning the QR code, we will go ahead and provide that for you as well. Um, in addition, I'm going to be putting, uh, that link in the chat right now so that everybody can click on that link. But keep an eye open for the email that I'll have some additional details. One other thing to be noted, that workshop, we are offering a secondary seat for just $99.

So if you go bring a co-parent, bring a spouse, bring a friend, bring somebody else, it's only an additional $99 to bring somebody with you. So we're really trying to make this one good and affordable. One last thing. If for any reason you really want to go and there is some sort of financial hardship, please email me and we'll work out something. Okay?

This is a special one. We want everybody to participate if they want to be there. But big thank you to Jeff Hittner for his presentation, for sharing his knowledge with us and for giving us space to have these discussions. Anything else that you would like to add before we say goodbye, Jeff or Richard? No.

Have, have, have a truly wonderful weekend with your families, um, and be thinking about the voice in your head and mm-hmm. Be a little kinder to yourself about it.